“DON’T JUDGE THE BOOK BY ITS COVER; THINK OUT OF THE BOX”

Different types of books with different covers

According to my point of view trust and understanding are stand as pillars to develop a strong relationship between people. The word understanding has a very deep meaning inside and it takes more time to understand people. But sometimes for the life time we couldn’t understand them. We couldn’t judge people by the way they are talking and by their looks because we actually don’t know their story behind. Let us consider following example :

A child who try counts candies

Peter is a 5 year old boy and his father is a mathematics teacher. After he comes home from school he teaches mathematics for his son. One day he asked a question from his son “Son, if I give you 3 toffees and 3 toffees how many will you have now?”. “7” Peter replied.The father was upset because of his reply but he remembered that Peter likes chocolates more than toffees and changed the question. If I give you 3 chocolates and 3 chocolates how many will you have now 6, he replied. The father was pleased by the change of his strategy but to confirm whether Peter understand his maths right, he asked again. If I give you 3 toffees and 3 toffees how many will you have? Peter replied 7.The father was annoyed and asked how can 3 and 3 chocolates be 6 and 3 and 3 toffees be 7?. Peter replied; I already have one toffee in my pocket.So, who was right?Was the father wrong?No, 3 plus 3 is 6.Was Peter wrong?No because 3 plus 3 is 6 and 1 toffee in his pocket make it 7.

It’s a fact that all kind of conflicts come because lack of understanding and mainly because of the gap between theoretical correctness and practical correctness. The father was theoretically correct and theoretical means to see something obvious and to see what is visible. Peter was practically correct. Practical means to see beyond the obvious and to see something beyond what is visible. It means to see the hidden toffee.

So the moral of this example is ‘Never judge people because you don’t know their story’. From the example it is evident that very often all our conflicts come because of the gap between the theoretical and practical correctness. If the father decided that Peter weak in mathematics because of his wrong answer it’s not be a correct judgment.

Disagreement between Wife and Husband

If we get a practical situation, Whenever you find your husband or wife does not love you enough and he/she changed, yes you may be theoretically/technically correct. But think more deep about the situation. Are you practically correct? Practically correctness means to see the hidden toffee, to see why he/she has been changed or not loving you. So you should find the hidden reason for it. You should fill the gap and then no conflicts will occur.

Your child may not be listening to you. You’re theoretically correct, your child is not listening to you. But practically are you right? Practical correctness to see beyond the obvious; why is your child is not behaving right.

So the next time when you see someone who is not fit in to your definition of what is theoretically correct, please do not be judgmental, go beyond the obvious. Go beyond what is visible and try to find the hidden toffee which will truly help you to solve your problem and to understand the person more deeply. Always try to think out of the box and it will bring you a better life.

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Dinusha Jayarathna

I lived in the pearl of the Indian Ocean. I’m a person who interested to write articles and poems on life, science , technology and geopolitics.